I want to keep friends and family safe right now, but I also miss them. What can we do so we don’t feel so far apart?

In this uncertain and challenging time, people of all ages can benefit greatly from staying connected with others virtually while they can’t do so in person. Here are some tips for building close relationships online using three senses of seeing, hearing, and feeling. 

Seeing

• Raise your laptop or lower your webcam so your camera is at eye level.

• Change your background and decide on a shared one to give a sense of commonality and being in the same place. 

• Hide the view of your own face to prevent you being distracted by it and enable you to focus on the other person. 

Hearing

• Make sure you share your time equally between you and the person you are speaking with. Don’t dominate the discussion.  

• Allow silence. This can help us feel close and provide space for the other person to have deeper thoughts. 

• Listen deeply without judgment, paying particular attention to the words they are saying. Then repeat back, summarize, or paraphrase what they said for understanding. 

Feeling

• We don’t have a physical sense of touch virtually, but we can feel the connection with others. Practice empathy by stepping into the other person’s shoes. 

• Create a safe place and ask how the person is feeling before you say anything else. Create the space and time to allow that person to truly share. 

• Develop a feelings sign language, for example by touching your heart to communicate deep feelings.

Building and maintaining these close connections now will help with the transition into face-to-face time when circumstances allow. To keep you going, take some time to visualize what that will look like and how that will feel. 

this article was first published in the Grosse Pointe News